I Wish I Didn’t Make Love With Him
So I made love with someone I was in a relationship with. That was my first time; at 24 years. I was taught I only needed to share my body with my husband. As it should. (Hebrews 13:4 ESV) Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled
At one moment, one night, I lost it with someone I love.
Now, I understand why we need to save ourselves with our spouses only. When we make love with somebody, we become one flesh. We are sharing our body and our soul with someone. Making love with someone can be the holiest thing that we can do. Sex is not a sin; pre-marital sex is. God created sex so we can enjoy it with our spouse but not with someone we are not married to. Do not get me wrong; I am not pointing fingers at anyone. I am not perfect, and I am sinful.
I wish I knew where I stand if I could return in time. I wish I think things through because being madly in love with someone has a cost. I was stupid in love as if I had never been fooled by love once. Our hearts can be deceiving, and even our emotions can lie to us. (Jeremiah 17:9) “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”
Perhaps I am regretting it now because he left me. Would I regret it if he didn’t leave me? I don’t think so. I was crazy in love! He was my whole life, and I would shout on the street to proclaim my love for him, but I wish I knew better back then that when we make love with someone, we become one flesh; they’re carrying a piece of you and you are carrying a piece of them.
Soul ties are the knitting together of two people through a deep emotional connection; it also happens when both of you make love.
I decided to make love with him. It was our decision. But I wish I was intelligent and strong enough to make that decision when I still had the chance. Making love with someone is much more than looking into their eyes and tongue kisses as you both share your body. It is not the same as you watch sexual videos. When you make love with someone, you are bound to that person. I thought my decision would save me from having a broken heart, but I didn’t know there was a cost of making love to someone you’re not married to. There is a consequence when you make a good or bad decision.
A couple of months after the breakup, I still think about him. Perhaps if I didn’t make love to him, I would still get hurt but in a different way. And I wish I got hurt differently.